Growing Old

I do not recall the beginning 

Perhaps I was never meant to? 


But, two lives forever were changed 

They guided a soul into the world 


They dispelled the chaos of unknown 

They shielded me from the storms 


Through them I experienced the world 

And through me they experienced life 


I do not recall the beginning 

Perhaps that is what love is for? 


I am often lost, afraid and uncertain 

I struggle to find my way, I cry, I learn 


Sometimes it is all but too much 

I often make mistakes, I fail, I learn 


Sometimes it escapes me, I do not understand

Perhaps that is what life is for? 


I am not who I want to be, or am I? 

Perhaps that is what the journey is for? 


I am far more lonely than I would ever admit 

Perhaps that is what pain is for? Life? 


I am afraid to be close, or am I? 

Perhaps that is what love is for? Friends? 


I don’t have many certainties 

Isn’t there some kind of beauty in that? 


All that I am and all the I ever will be?

I don’t understand, where has this time gone? 


I am grateful for so much and so many 

I’ve seen so much? Did this change me? 


In the end I have no answers 

Perhaps we are only guilty of growing old? 

Tristan Barnard

BSc Wood & Wood Product Science,

This poem came out of the idea of both seeking purpose in life as well as being lost. Lost in questions and both answers while posing the question, perhaps this is what life is and we are all the more for not knowing.

Illustration done by Neil Mellet

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